Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Death of Black Culture -- Blame BET

Thanks to the Boondocks for hitting it right on the head with this video.

Enjoy then stop and think about it...

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Video of the Day

The first 2-3 minutes of this video is pretty funny. Sadly, this character reminds me of a few people I went to school with. Buttoned up, black republicans by day, but lord help them when Miami booty bass or a Lil John song came on. Okay!!!

Monday, January 14, 2008

I'm Just Saying

NOT 18. Stop the lies


Thursday, January 10, 2008

Open Letter To Megan Fox

Hey Megan,

You are famous now. You can get rid of this guy he is totes diminishing your cool points and he thinks he is prettier than you.



Wednesday, January 9, 2008

A Woman After My Own Heart

This woman is awesome. After almost two weeks in a deep coma, as her grieving husband decides to remove her from life support, she utters the words: "Get me out of here.” Then she added another request: “Take me to Ted’s and take me to the Melting Pot.”

Ted's and the Melting Pot are two Mexican restaurants.

Now I am usually hella hungry when I wake up in the morning so I totally don't blame homegirl for having the munchies after being asleep for days on end.

Here she is on the today show this morning:


It's Cool to Normal

I think if most people would admit to themselves that they are average like this guy we would have far less problems in the world. This should be sent as a PSA to all New Yorkers who are celebrities in their own minds (me included) and sometimes huge pains in the ass.


Do Not Take Lessons in Crime From 80's Movies

I don't know why these guys thought they would get away with this. Definitely one for the books in terms of stupid criminal behavior.
Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said.

David J. Dalaia and James O'Hare pushed Virgilio Cintron's body from the Manhattan apartment that O'Hare and Cintron shared to Pay-O-Matic, about a block away, spokesman Paul Browne said witnesses told police.

"The witnesses saw the two pushing the chair with Cintron flopping from side to side and the two individuals propping him up and keeping him from flopping from side to side," Browne said.

The men left Cintron's body outside the store, went inside and tried to cash his $355 check, Browne said. The store's clerk, who knew Cintron, asked the men where he was, and O'Hare told the clerk they would go and get him, Browne said.

A police detective who was having lunch at a restaurant next to the check-cashing store noticed a crowd forming around Cintron's body, and "it's immediately apparent to him that Cintron is dead," Browne said.



What is Andrew McCarthy up to???

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

American Gladiators

On Sunday night I had the pleasure of being among the millions of Americans to view what is simultaneously the best and worst thing to happen in television in years--the return of American Gladiators.

Fabulously shitty, it ran for not 30 min but a full hour. The challenges were the same as the old version: The Joust, The Gauntlet, The Wall, That Stupid Challenge Where You Run Around and Try to get Balls in a Basket While the Gladiators Beat Your Ass, and many more.

The contestants were super boring, nothing to say about them. We all know the real stars are the Gladiators themselves. I am entirely too lazy to profile all of them but here are my faves/most hated:


Titan: Awesome because he is the roided up version of a real life Ken doll, complete with non-threatening genital mound.


Crush: I like her because she may be the only bio-fem out of the entire group. Plus she has a sassy asymmetrical bob.


Hellga: Because she could crush me with her bare hands and there is something about that that I appreciate.



Toa: I am assuming he is a Pacific Islander (perhaps Samoan?). What really bugged me was that fact that he kept doing random "tribal warrior dances" and threatening contestants in his native tongue. NBC didn't supply a direct translation but I can guess the translation was along the lines of, "I hate myself for bastardizing my native culture for mindless entertainment. Please God I hope these checks clear."


Very disturbing looking. Hello girlfriend.


Can't say that I will tune in for another episode but I did appreciate the amusement the premiere brought me on Sunday. Lastly, why the hell is Laila Ali involved in this? Seriously Dancing with the Stars helps revive careers and this is the best that her management could do?


Here is Saleisha's Seventeen cover and she still has that unfortunate haircut . Assburgers Heather should have totally won.


Monday, January 7, 2008


This is why I rarely leave New York City. These kids probably hate Blacks and Jews as well. Nice of their parents to support blind, irrational hatred. Shaking my head.

When Did Javier Bardiem Get So Hot?


Source: Best Week Ever

Happy Monday

Hey peeps. So I KIND of have a lot of work to do today so apologies for the slow updates, but I had to post on this awesome Jezebel piece where the ladies, Jessica and Slut Machine (my hero), pay a visit to American Apparel.

Now for anyone over a size two who has ever been depressed when trying on clothing here you are not alone. The clothing is well made but soooo unflattering on the average woman. Jezebel referred to the clothing as "aggressively unflattering" and also had this amazing headline for the post: "American Apparel Will Make You Look Like A Fat Hooker" (very true). Check out the video HERE.

Now I don't want to jump on the anti American Apparel bandwagon but unless you are shopping for t-shirts, hoodies or cardigans I strongly caution against shopping here. Before you pick up that spandex jersey dress think of what Tim Gunn would say. Think of all the flattering fabrics, colors and cuts that COMPLEMENT your lady lumps and put down that leotard and take your ass you Zara.

P.S. Dear Gawker Media, can you PLEASE make your videos easily embeddable?


Friday, January 4, 2008

Video of The Day

Slow news day people ( I refuse to post about Brit Brit).

Here is a classic for all you children of the '80s. I wonder why no one has sampled the beat from the theme song (Kanye I'm talking to you).


Yesterday I had the pleasure of viewing the upcoming horror/comedy film Teeth. Some of you may had heard of this film before. If not, the basic plot summary is as follows: young, nubile, blond virgin discoverers that she has teeth in her vajay jay (yep) and hijinks ensue. The film is a satirical look at Vagina Dentata myth that is prevalent in a number of cultures.

Overall the film was enjoyable but I will warn you that the film is a bit graphic. Two words: Severed, Penises. Yep that's right, so guys be forewarned. Anyway check out the trailer and go see it when it comes out on January 18th.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Video of The Day


Wednesday night is reality TV night in my household and last night Bravo did not disappoint with a new episode of the always fabulous "Project Runway" and the new series "Make Me a SuperModel."

Let's get to the recaps:

Last night's Project Runway challenge asked the designers to create garments out of materials found at the Hersey's store in Times Square. The Heresy's product placement and incessant commercials were a little out of control even for Bravo, but overall it was a pretty good episode here are the highlights:

Tim waking up the contestants at 6AM : There is nothing worse than millions of people seeing what you look like first thing in the morning. Poor Kit with the crazy bed head and no bra, and was Kevin naked because the camera did not pan down past his waist. Also I really wish we had been given a close up of Christian to see what that hair looks like in the morning. I mean does it stick up at even crazier angles, does it fall flat, does he sleep with maybe curlers and a doo rag? I guess the world will never know.

Chris as the stereotypical fat dude : Yes Chris is a big guy but does he really have to do things like fall asleep and snore loudly with his mouth open and behind the scenes during the judge's deliberations did he have to scarf down candy bars?

The designs : I have to give the designers props for turning out really well made creative garments out of candy materials. I really loved Rami's piece. Incredibly creative and detailed and he deserved to win the challenge. I predict him as this year's winner.

Tim Gunn : Tim had THE best line of this night where he looked at Sweet Pea's garment and said (imagine Tim's voice) "What is this a skirt? It looks like a coffee filter or a maxi pad." Oh I fall in love with him more and more each week.


Last night Bravo also premiered the new series "Make Me a Supermodel"which I thoroughly enjoyed. It's a mix of America's Next Top Model and American Idol but better because there is no Tyra (sorry Ty Ty I'm a little pissed at you for rigging this season's competition), there were legit industry experts involved in the judging process and Tyson Beckford is one the co-hosts and he is smoking hot. Nikki Tyler was the other co-host but her face looked kinda weird and bloated. Here are my faves out of the models that we were introduced to:

I loved her. Really beautiful, fierce walk (God am I really saying FIERCE?) and great Polaroids. As long as she doesn't fuck up completely she should have this competition in the bag.


This is a really horrible photo of her. I have no idea why these promotional pics made her look like a drag queen but she has lots of potential and Tyson was totally eye fucking her the entire episode.


Completely obnoxious but one of the most beautiful men I have seen in a long time. Is the real life version of Derek Zoolander with a Latin accent.


Last but not least I love Ben because he is a small town sheriff who showed up to the audition with scars and bite marks from dealing with local drunks and meth freaks.


I'll probably watch this show every week and MAYBE actually go online to vote for my favorites. Who were yours?

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Hot Guys From The 90's That I Wanted To Do When I Was Underaged, But Wouldn't Touch Now

I trust that the title speaks for itself.

From time to time I'll do installments on guys who peaked in the '90s during my tween and teen years when my bangs were way too short and had not grown into my nose or forehead. I looked kind of like this:


Back then in my mind I totally thought had a chance with these guys if I could only make it to Hollywood or win a coveted role on The Grind or Soul Train. But alas.

The first up to be profiled on HGFTNTIWTDWIWUBWTN (how to do like that for an acronym?) is former hottie now major nottie--D'Angelo.

Back 1995 in when D'Angelo hit the scene with his album Brow Sugar women were up in arms. I mean who can forget that video for "How does it feel?"


Flash forward a decade and now homeboy is out of shape and out of work. Sad. I'm hoping he will hit the gym and make a comeback but I think he lost some of his teeth which may impede the whole sex symbol thing. Either way he's talented and I could and still would listen to his music and appreciate way back when...


Up next on HGFTNTIWTDWIWUBWTN : David Burns from season seven of The Real World: Seattle


Celine Dion is Batshit Crazy

Thank you Rich at FourFour. This video is AMAZING.

MC Hammer Takes on the Internet

I'll let the story speak for itself:

MC Hammer hasn't topped the music charts since the early 1990s, but the former rap star says he has another hit in him — only this time around he'll produce it as a Silicon Valley entrepreneur.

Hammer, whose real name is Stanley Burrell, is choreographing a new career as co-founder and chief strategy officer of Menlo Park-based DanceJam.com.

The Web site, scheduled to debut in mid-January, will try to upstage YouTube and become the Internet's hub for sharing and watching dance videos. DanceJam then hopes to make money by grabbing a piece of the rapidly growing Internet advertising market, which is expected to rake in $27.5 billion in 2008, according to eMarketer.

Just to offend your sensibilities please enjoy the classic Hammer comeback video "Pumps and a Bump"

P.S. Totally kind-of, sort-of NWSF

Big Panties Can Save Lives

Ladies, you know those giant panties that you reserve for a special time of the month? Guys you know the ones, that when your ladyfriend is comfortable enough to wear these in front of you it means that she is at the point where she will let her body hair grow in and wear sweats all day.

Well granny panties aren't all bad. They even save lives.

Jenny Marsey's size 18-20 cotton briefs were used to put out a frying pan fire, which started when an extractor fan fell on the cooker while her son and nephew were frying some bread at the house in Hartlepool.

Her son John, 18, at first made the blaze worse by throwing water over the flames, but her nephew, Darren Lines, saved the day by grabbing his aunt's knickers from the washing pile and using them like a fire blanket.

Welcome Back

So I've been either too drunk or too lazy to post for the last month but I'm back!!!!

This following video has no real reference I just think its kind of funny.