Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Movies I Can't Stop Myself From Watching

I've decided to start a new regular feature called "Movies I Can't Stop Myself From Watching."

If you haven't figured out -- I watch A LOT of TV.

I have the cable package with the most premium movie channels that you can have (I think about 40). With these numbers the odds are likely that I will run into:

A. A movie I've wanted to see but I didn't want to pay 12 bucks at the theater and I always forget to add it to my Netflix cue (yes I have over 40 movie channels and Netflix).

B. A movie whose title and description is so weird, bizarre, or unheard of that I just have to stop and see what it's about. Example Population 436 staring Jeremy Sisto.

C. A movie that I should see in order to stay up to date with the cultural zeitgeist, although I've never really had a desire to see it. (Most Woody Allen films)

D. Lastly the films, both good and often bad, that I can not help but watch EVERY time it's on.

I swear it's hypnotic. I am sick in the head.

This weekend I watched for maybe the 30th time one of the all time classic "Movies I Can't Stop Myself From Watching" Tremors.


From Wikipedia

Tremors is a 1990 dark comedy monster film about a group of people from a small Nevada town fighting subterranean worm-creatures dubbed "Graboids". It was directed by Ron Underwood, and stars Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter, Michael Gross and Reba McEntire. It was followed by two sequels Tremors 2: Aftershocks, Tremors 3: Back to Perfection, one prequel Tremors 4: The Legend Begins, and the television show Tremors: The Series.

Why is this movie so great?

1. The Cast

The Dad from Family Ties


Kevin Bacon


Reba McEntire


2. The Special Effects

3. It's Quality
You can't deny the fact that it's straight up a pretty good B-Movie with an 88% Fresh Rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

So if you haven't seen this film yet I suggest you check it out at some point. If you don't have a million premium channels it's on the Sci-Fi Network once every 6-8 weeks so you can see it there.

Also please ignore the three horrible sequels and the television series that followed. The original is still the best.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Sneak Peek: Terrence Howard's Album

Um didn't you know?

Terrence Howard is releasing an album, set to hit stores September 2.

Yeah this guy:


I got a sneak peek at some of the upcoming tracks:

Track 1: Ode to baby wipes
Track 2: I'm picking a fight will Bill Cobsy
Track 3: No I've never been with a man before, why do you ask?

Bonus Track: Real men carry purses

To HEAR some of the songs on his album visit I caution you to avoid listening to this while consuming food or drink as it may possibly shoot out of your nose while you laugh.

Terrence, sorry to talk shit dude, you are a good actor but kind of a weirdo and definitely not a singer.

More Reasons to Love James Franco

Defamer has a great clip from last Friday's Jimmy Kimmel show where Franco describes his experience working on the upcoming film Milk including surprising script updates, working with Sean Penn and a prosthetic penis.

Choking the Chicken

Yesterday my co-workers and I were engaged in a heated discussion in an effort to determine why women are much less likely to openly discuss masturbation than men.

It's not an issue of propriety or morality because for the most part women are as graphic (or even more so) in their discussion of their sexual exploits than men are but you never hear a woman say, "Man I'm gonna go home and rub one out" or talk about the one time they gave themselves a stranger or brag about how often they masturbate in the same way that men do.

Why is this? Why are we so shy about discussing pleasing ourselves but not shy about talking about the blow jobs we gave last weekend?

Shows like Sex and the City talk around the issue by focusing on a specific trendy toy (Hello Rabbit!) but I'm sure none of those women would be willing to admit to each other that they were late for brunch because they were busy buffin the muffin.

In tribute to women who are ballsy enough to talk about it here are some of my favorite songs about self abuse.

I Seen Beyonce at Burger King

Reasons why this video is factually incorrect:
  • Everyone knows that Beyonce is all about Popeye's not Burger King. Duh
  • Secondly there is no way in hell that 10 dollars would get the double cheese burgers, onion rings, a shake and chicken strips.
  • JC Penny does not carry House of Dereon so it's unlikely she would be spotted there. Perhaps Macy's or Sears?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Video of The Day

Corky + Public Enemy = Holy Shit why does this even exist???

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Just in time for the Olympic Games

Kayne's new video for the single Champion had just been released.

Nice to see Kanye flexing his creative muscle in the video where a Puppet version of Kanye competes in the Olympic games.

One thing to note --Who is the extra with the huge ass that keeps walking in to the shots?



Um Hai!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Helping Kids Give Up Hope Early

Virus Comix brings you a guide to dealing with your mundane and disappointing life called Things They Don't Tell You (But They Should).

This should be required reading for all young people who think that they will grow up to be rich, famous or special.

The odds are you won't be.

If you are lucky you will have a decent job, make it to middle management and have enough money to pay your mortgage, contribute to your 401K (good-bye social security), and send your kids to community college.

I've included highlights of some of my favorites below:





Rich People's Rooftops

Hey, want to feel bad about yourself?

Check out this Flickr gallery of ridiculously pimped rooftops in NYC.

Seriously I'm thrilled to have a fire escape with some plants in a window box.




Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Why Oddcast is Amazing

If you aren't familiar with Oddcast it's a technology that allows consumers to create customized animated avatars by uploading a photo into an video environment.

We can thank Oddcast for this cool site which allows you to commit a friend to the Arkham Asylum, a promotion that was tied to the release of The Dark Knight.

For my money the most incredible use of Oddcast technology to date is this:


Basically you take a photo of a pet, type in text and the pet then recites the text in a variety of voices.

Ummm this is more fun than it should be. I used the famous Sugar Bush (If you don't know who Sugar Bush is I suggest you go here immediately) and envisioned what Sugar Bush would say to her owner if she could talk:

Click here: Example A


Click here: Example B


Okay you now have my permission to waste time at work.

New Dangers of Junk Food or How I Almost Lost My Finger Getting Ice Cream

In an effort to boost morale, we had an ice cream party at work on Monday.


Since then, there has been a bonanza of left-over ice cream in the refrigerator at work.

This is a problem for me because I am trying to avoid growing another chin--but goddamn I can't resist a frosty treat.

Yesterday I had mint chocolate chip. Today cookies and cream.

Having only access to plastic spoons at the office, I was having a hell of a time getting the ice cream out.

Ah ha! I'll use this big kitchen knife to actually cut the ice cream out.





I don't know how, but I managed to basically slice my finger open in three separate places. The worst part is it took me more than five minutes to realize that I was hurt because I was so focused on eating my ice cream.


I have a problem.

Tomorrow, vanilla heath bar crunch and perhaps a severed thumb.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Dirty Food: Oyster Herpes

Internets are abuzz today discussing the outbreak of Oyster Herpes in France.
A herpes virus is killing young oysters in France because they have spent too much energy developing their sexual organs rather than their natural defenses, an oyster crisis team has found.
So many things to note here.

1. There is an "oyster crisis team"
2. Are oyster herpes communicable? I didn't know mollusks had sex.
3. Is anyone else disturbed by the thought of overly developed genitalia on their seafood?




Daily Mail Headline of the Day