Yesterday one of my co-workers played an April Fools Day prank by (briefly) tricking us into thinking that there was an upcoming full length ThunderCats film. This was particularly cruel since 90% of my office was born between the years of 1978 and 1985 and all spent part of their childhood shouting "ThunderCats Ho!" and were REALLY geeked about a possible film.
The irony of this is if there actually was a new ThunderCats film it will ultimately suck if past examples of, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Underdog, Josie and The Pussycats and Rocky and Bullwinkle, have been any indicator of how Hollywood can completely bastardize a classic.
But this got me thinking--If there WERE to be a live action ThunderCats film who would I cast in each role? Here are my selections:
Lion-O — The leader, and the hereditary ‘Lord’ of the ThunderCats
Played By: Gerard Butler. Based on what we saw in 300 he is the only man in Hollywood with the thighs necessary to pull off Lion-O's unitard.
Panthro - The eldest living member of the Thundercats, is a mechanical wizard and engineering genius.
Played By: Michael Clarke Duncan. Is there any doubt that Panthro was a big black man? The bald head, deep voice and the fact that he is a mechanic gave it away. Little known fact, Panthro smokes Newport cigarettes.
Tygra — A staunch, level-headed warrior, based on the tiger, Tygra is known as the ThunderCat architect and scientist.
Played By: Owen Wilson. America now is your chance to see the Butter Scotch Stallion show his prowess. Wilson will exhibit his true acting skills by playing against type.
Cheetara - A female warrior, based on the cheetah, who is the only adult female ThunderCat. Cheetara is the fastest of the Thundercats.
Played By: Jessica Biel. We haven't seen Jessica since her role in The Illusionist and like Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel is probably looking for a childhood franchise to bastardize. Also have you seen her arms? She is totes is ripped enough to believably play an action hero.
WilyKat and WilyKit — Twin siblings, (Kat the boy, and Kit the girl) who are the youngest members of the ThunderCat team.
Played By: Zach Efron and Hayden Panettiere. Both sassy and compact.
Jaga — Known as “Jaga the Wise”, based on the jaguar, this elder warrior was once regarded as the greatest of all ThunderCats.
Played By: Will Ferrell. In an effort to transition into more serious roles and also continue to establish himself as a box office draw, Ferrell will play the sage ThunderCat elder. He will also train and get into ridiculous shape for the role not realizing that his character does not have to actually wear revealing costumes.
Snarf - Snarf served as a nursemaid and protector for Lion-O when he was a boy. After Lion-O grew up, Snarf found that often Lion-O didn’t want to have him ‘mothering’ or protecting him. Still, Snarf has remained loyal to Lion-O and the other ThunderCats.
Played By: Knut The Polar Bear. This role will be ideally played by the cute baby Knut before he went through his awkward adolescent phase and went feral and insane.
Mumm-Ra the Ever Living - The primary nemesis of the Thundercats, this slave to the Ancient Spirits of Evil has survived for thousands of years on Third Earth. He possesses incredible magical powers, and is also the wielder of the awesome Sword of Plunda.
Played By: Rachel Zoe. Casting Rachel in the role is based on the obvious physical resemblance and the ability to strike fear in the hearts of others.